


By Your Side

by shiroeswife



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Original Character(s), Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Slight fluff, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 21:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroeswife/pseuds/shiroeswife
Summary: “God damn it, Ashley! I can’t lose you!”It was the first time I actually heard him… almost scared for me. Not himself… but for me.“Yeah, well, Dad… I can’t lose him either.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My marvel self-insert is Ashley Wolfe, a wolf shifting super hero. I had to write this after watching infinity war. Though, in this version my insert and Stephen aren't married yet. They haven't gotten a chance to, but there will be major spoilers!!

Coughing violently, I couldn’t see anything through the rubble that surrounded me. My heart was fluttering in my chest, and I looked for any sign of anyone. I was alone surrounded by what used to be a part of a fallen building that was thrown at me. It seemed to be the only thing that ugly alien fucker could throw at me to subdue me. I touched my forehead that throbbed, seeing the blood that poured from it.

Pain shot throughout my body, but I had to stand up. I had to fight longer, but since the place was so barren I had no idea where to go. I had no idea where Stephen was, or where Tony was. I started to get a little worried that no one was in my view. My earpiece had fallen out while I was running, and it was broken on the ground by my feet. There was no way for me to contact Tony if he had gotten far.

Just a few moments ago all of us were trying our best to fight those that followed Thanos. I wanted to protect Stephen, but I also didn’t agree with Tony on keeping the stone hidden. But now that they were both missing, I began to worry more and more that our ideas were slowly killing us. That we were making the wrong decisions, or what we were up against was too powerful.

As I walked around looking for any sign of a struggle nearby, I remembered the fear on Bruce’s face as he recounted his fight with Thanos. It was hard not to worry when he was giving such a broad analysis. I remember squeezing Stephen’s hand, as practically an impulse more than anything. This is something that I was prepared for. Every day our jobs put us in dangers, and the evil of the world doesn’t care about anything but their own agendas.

I knew that these days would come. That we were be put up against strength, and it’s happened before. We’ve been in situations much like this one, but there was something about right now that felt worse. I almost couldn’t believe hours ago we were still in bed, not wanting to wake up and wrapped up in each other.

Suddenly, I heard the crunching of gravel behind me, and I turned around quickly on my heels. Readying my claws, I stood firmly on the ground just in time to see Tony. He removed the headpiece of his helmet, letting me see his wild eyes.

“Ashley! Are you alright?” He asked.

“I’m fine, I’m okay. Just a little cut, but… I’m fine.”

He sped up his footing, taking a second to glance at my wounds. My clothes were torn a bit from the shifting, but other than that I was ready to fight again.

“Where’s spidey?” I asked, “Is Bruce okay? What about Stephen? I don’t… I don’t see him anywhere.”

Slowly, I saw Tony’s face shift at my questions, and he slowly glanced up at the sky. I furrowed my brows, following his gaze to the spaceship up above. I blinked, slowly shaking my head rapidly.

“No, oh no. Don’t you tell me! Tony!”

“The kid’s up there too. I have to hurry. You go back and find Bruce. Warn the others.”

“No! Dad! I’m not leaving you!”

He spun around, his face already covered again but I could see the look on his face without having to witness it. This was not the time for him to get a protective dad on me. Now was the time to fight, and I wasn’t planning on staying behind while my boyfriend was up there. Tony seemed to know that in the back of his mind, but he wasn’t going to let me go without a fight.

I wasn’t sure if the reveal of us being blood-related is what started this overprotective nature, but it was beginning to get on my nerves.

“No, I’m sorry, but I have to pull the dad card. It’s too dangerous.”

“Tony, I’m an avenger! I’ve been in bad situations all the time, what makes this time different?”

“Are you seriously arguing with me right now? You heard Bruce, and you’ve seen what’s at stake here. I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go. Now, I have to hurry before it gets away!”

“Dad!”

Tony stopped in his tracks once again but didn’t look at me as he got ready to take off.

“God damn it, Ashley! I can’t lose you!”

It was the first time I actually heard him… almost scared for me. Not himself… but for me.

“Yeah, well, Dad… I can’t lose him either.”

After those words left my mouth, I knew that his face was softening behind the suit. I felt my bottom lip quivering and my voice cracking as I spoke those words. We were running out of time, and I knew that Tony was thinking the same thing. I understood that he was scared because I was too. But I wasn’t going to leave them to do this alone.

Tony let out a sigh, knowing that he had nothing else to say. Instead, he held his hand out to me.

“Alright, c’mon. We don’t have much time.”


	2. Chapter 2

My words seemed to ring true in this fight. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. There were moments that I began to worry that the choices we made were the wrong ones. I couldn’t see any accomplishment in sight. From the ache in my muscles to the blood from my scars, I felt completely broken. The air on Titan was so thin that it was hard to catch my breath, and I felt tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

Witnessing the large purple brute crushed all hope that I had. There was a moment that I thought we would win until it all began to fall apart. I didn’t want to blame anyone, because there were so many factors that were unraveling at the seems. Quil and I seemed to be on the same wavelength. I understood the reason for his outrage, even though I only got a portion of the reality.

If that were me and Stephen… I’m not sure what I would have done. It made me realize just how important this last fight was, and just how afraid I was. I’d never been stunned by fear. I’ve always been able to keep moving forward until my powers were too weak to hold. But at that moment, seeing Tony broken and stabbed, crumbling right in front of Thanos… I felt it. The sting of fear that caused my feet to plant into the ground, unable to move.

My words from before rattled in my brain over and over. My promises to give me up for my family in an instant. I screamed at myself to move, but the fear had reached all throughout my body. My throat felt so tight, and I looked between Stephen and Tony. A scream was on my tongue, and it took all of my strength to fight against it.

I was too weak to shift, my body giving out despite how bad I wanted one more run. All I could do was summon my claws, and even that seemed to hurt more than it was worth. Tears stung my eyes, and I couldn’t imagine watching my father die right in front of my eyes. Not when it had just been a month or two ago when we found out the truth. It didn’t seem fair how just less than a day ago we were all happy, not knowing the future that awaited us.

How a mere hours ago, when we first met the guardians, there was still some light-hearted laughs to be found. But that’s the beauty of my friend. How we could find humor in the darkest of moments. And that’s the only thing that kept me moving forward in that second.

The thought of my friends, out fighting somewhere else trying to protect the world as we know it. For Tony, who was broken and bleeding in front of me. My father who I had grown to love so much, even though he was missing for half of my life. I had forgiven him and my mother, and I have done whatever I could to make up for it.

I needed more time with him. Even if it was only a few more hours before the world as we know it would be torn apart.

“No! Stop!”

Everyone’s eyes widened as I flung myself in front of Tony, just before Thanos could harm him further. I knew that he planned to kill him in that moment, and I couldn’t let that happen. Even Tony was speechless, kneeling behind me with his hands over his wound.

“Please…”

I knew that it was useless to plead with him, but I tried the only thing that I could. Tears rolled down my face, burning with warmth as I stared into the face of my demise. Pursing my lips, I heard Tony behind me trying to convince me to move.

“Ashley, please… don’t do this.”

“I’m not letting you die, Dad. I can’t just sit here and watch you be taken away from me.”

I felt the shakiness of my tone, and I glanced behind him to smile.

Hearing Thanos chuckle in front of me made me sick to my stomach. Nothing about this was funny, but of course, he would find humor in it.

“Very well. I suppose I’ll give you the end that you want.”

“No! Ashley! Move out of the way!”

I closed my eyes, preparing for the pain that was coming. The tears continued to roll down my face, and I tried to block out the sound of Tony’s voice.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

I had accepted my fate, feeling at peace that I had kept my promise. That was… until I heard a familiar voice from my left.

“Stop! Spare them…”

My eyes flashed open, glancing over at Stephen with my mouth parted in surprise.

“…and I’ll give you the stone.”

Both Tony and I were speechless, hearing the words falling from his lips. I felt my heart hammering in my chest even harder, watching him painfully expose the true stone. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I had hoped that he wasn’t doing this because of me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself it that was why he chose to give it all up.

After all, he’d told me time after time that it wasn’t personal. But he couldn’t choose Tony over the stone. And I knew that if it came down to it, I wouldn’t be able to understand that decision. Not when it was my own father. But right now, I understood it. Because I felt broken knowing that he was risking the sake of the universe just for me.

Once Thanos had disappeared with the stone, the silence surrounding us was thick and heavy. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything for several seconds. Even Tony was silent, everyone getting their wounds patched up without a second thought.

“Why did you do that?” Tony asked after several seconds of silence, glancing over at Stephen.

He took a second to breathe, glancing at the two of us.

I couldn’t even hear the excuse, because I knew it at that moment. This was what was supposed to happen. For whatever reason… this was the only way. With a clench of my fist, I connected my eyes with his and gave him a nod.

Whatever happens from here on out… it’s the only way.


	3. Chapter 3

That was it. The fight was over. We lost.

All I could think about was what was going to happen. The future that would unfold now, and I knew that Stephen wasn’t telling me everything. I’ve been with him long enough to know that. It was tough looking at him like this, my eyes seeing the cuts on his face and the way he looked defeated just like everyone else.

His hand grasped mine, and I could feel them shaking as my heart sank into the soles of my boots. It was hard for me to trust his decision when I was so afraid. So scared for what was to come. This entire time I stood and fought beside him, knowing that the reality was set in stone from the beginning.

My eyes close, and I feel my whole body shaking. A while has passed since Thanos vanished, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before something big happens. I’m so scared. All I can do is think about the others, and the rest of the world that would now face what was to come. We failed, and this was the punishment.

“Let Tony look at your wounds. You’re bleeding,” Stephen mumbled, pointing to my arm.

I shook my head, “No… I’m staying right here with you. I am fine.”

He let out a sigh, seeing the sternness in my eyes.

Stephen knew better than to argue with me. I wasn’t going to leave his side. And it was quite obvious that there was something that he wasn’t telling me. Sooner or later… I’d figure it out. And for some reason, that thought made my stomach churn. I was already nervous, because I knew that it wasn’t good.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew exactly what was going on.

When the first few began to vanish into dust, I immediately felt my heart race. I knew that it would happen. I knew that we’d lose a few, but I had no idea it’d be like this. Or this many. Frantically, I looked to Stephen as he continued to rest, seeing the understanding in his eyes. Because he knew all along. I knew that he did.

How could he not? He saw it. He knows, and he didn’t tell me.

“Stephen,” I mumbled, “Stephen… Stephen fucking Strange.”

I repeated his name over and over, my voice becoming more frantic as I went on.

He grasped my hand, squeezing it tightly and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it. I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. This couldn’t be happening. I knew that something was going to break the second that we lost, but I didn’t believe this. After all that I did to try to keep him safe with me, it all felt like nothing in the end.

“No, no, no. This isn’t happening. Please, don’t tell me…”

“It’ll be alright, Ashley.”

“No it’s not going to be fucking alright! You can’t leave me!”

He softly shushed me, pulling me closer and kissing my forehead. But it didn’t help. I was so afraid of losing him. I couldn’t lose him. Not after everything we’ve been through. Not after everything we planned to do. He wasn’t going anywhere. I refused to accept the fact, and I hoped that he was wrong somehow.

That in this one instance, he could be wrong.

But looking into his eyes, I know that it’s foolish of me to think so. That is just me living in ignorance, which will not help me in the slightest.

“Ashley, look at me,” Stephen held my hands in his own and stared deeply into my eyes, “I love you. I’m so lucky to have met you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you can do this. You’re strong.”

I continued to shake my head, pressing my forehead against his.

“Please… I don’t want to live without you… I can’t.”

I croaked out, sobbing and screaming as if anything was listening. As if it wasn’t too late already.

“Baby… you can, and you will. I believe in you. Please, don’t forget what I told you.”

I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes that he was about to lose it too. The sparkling of his bright eyes were proof of that. And it tore me apart to see him like this.

Biting on my bottom lip, I leaned down to press one last kiss to his lips. They were so chapped from the fight, but I didn’t care. It was one last passionate kiss with my husband. I couldn’t believe that it would be the last, but I had to try.

When I pulled away, I was a sobbing mess with tears pouring down my face. Stephen squeezed my hand one last time, and I watched him slowly fade away into nothing. Once the warmth of his hand was gone, I felt nothing but emptiness. I couldn’t even cry or shout at the sky, which is what I expected to happen. All I could do was sit there and stare at the spot that he last sat.

It was so quiet now. The air on Titan was still stiff, but somehow it felt even more.

My teeth ground together, and I heard the footsteps behind me. All at once my brain was thinking of ways that I could have prevented this. Things that could have happened that would still leave my boyfriend here.

In the back of my mind, I knew that was ridiculous to think so. Given that the outcome would’ve most likely been the same, or even worse depending on the choices we all made. Not to mention that I had to put my trust in Stephen, even now when it seems completely useless. How can I… when he isn’t here, and I’m left to pick up the pieces?

My stomach felt sick, and all I could see was anger and frustration.

“Ashley, I’m-”

Climbing to my feet, I heard the sound of Tony’s voice behind me. I have no idea what snapped inside of me. But something was crawling up my throat and I couldn’t control it. My body was acting completely on its own. Something had sparked inside of me the second I heard Tony’s voice. I immediately wanted to blame someone. Anyone that I could get my hands on.

Spinning around, I looked up into his eyes and clenched my fists.

“This is all your fault, Tony! You fucking bastard!”

“Ashley, what the hell are you-”

He stopped, seeing the tears that had stained my cheeks red.

My bottom lip quivered, and I charged towards him with my fists clenched. All I could do was shout and cry and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to him at all.

“We wanted to stay on Earth, but you had to make him come along! You just had to fucking force your plan, right? Because Tony Stark knows fucking best! My boyfriend is gone!”

His face softened, watching me cry and scream.

“Ashley, I thought… I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I don’t want you to say anything! I just want him back, god damn it! It’s not fair! He wasn’t supposed to go, Tony!”

Immediately, my thoughts spiraled downwards. I pursed my lips, mumbling curses under my breath. The only thing that I could do was wail like a child. This wasn’t going to bring him back, and this wasn’t going to change anything. But I didn’t care. It was incredibly unfair, and I somehow felt responsible for it.

Why was I yelling at Tony? What was that going to solve?

He had lost someone as well. We had all lost someone, and who’s to say that we didn’t have more elsewhere that we lost. It wasn’t fair for me to be screaming at him like this. He couldn’t have known that this would happen. But I couldn’t see passed my own worry and fear. I was shaking and couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

It was all so unfair.

“God fucking damn it,” I cried.

“I know… I know…”

Tony’s eyes were so soft. How could he be this soft when I was just yelling at him? I couldn’t unclench my jaw, and I definitely couldn’t stop crying.

Slowly, he pulled me into his chest into a tight hug. The warmth was all that I needed to completely break down into sobs. My hands grasped at the material of his clothes, clinging desperately as I cried.

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

I sniffed, burying my head in his chest. Even though I said that out of anger, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t blame Tony for any of it. I knew that it was only a matter of time. There was only so much that we could do, and in reality… we could blame all of ourselves if we wanted. But that wasn’t going to solve a damn thing.

We just needed to make a damn stronger comeback.

Because I refuse to call this over.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into his chest, clinging to his clothes desperately.

Tony sighed, slowly patting down my hair and closing his eyes. He held me so tight, afraid that at any moment I would vanish as well. The tears also fell from his eyes, and he didn’t even try to hide them. It was only us on this desolate planet, and that thought weighed heavier as the seconds ticked by.

“I know, jelly bean…” He mumbled, trying to strengthen his tone, “I know…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! For more feel free to check out my self-indulgent tumblr under the same username as mine here!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! For more feel free to check out my self-indulgent tumblr under the same username as mine here!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! <3


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